So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
3pm strippers are depressing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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