come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
