oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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