It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
