found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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