I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
