I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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