She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Terrible idea I love it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
