I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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