I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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