SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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