i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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