I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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