Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
