you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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