they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
