i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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