well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
