I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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