I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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