What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
