I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
