Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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