Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
