For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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