Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
