This girl is more easily done than said...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize