obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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