you mean i was at the winter classic?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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