I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
