I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
love makes seman taste better
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
