so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There was a lot of him and a little penis
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
