your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
