Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
