i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
