i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize