You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
