is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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