she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
