How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
