At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
