just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
