okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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