Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
