Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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