I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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