update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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