she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
