I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
