They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
