i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
