They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
