worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i came on her dog
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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