i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
