I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
