We named our party play list daddy issues
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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