wakey wakey hands off snakey
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
