this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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