Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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