trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
