I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
