i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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