Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
