If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize