Farmville is her only friend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
