Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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