do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
