Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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