im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
