Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
