Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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