I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
