I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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