They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
