the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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